How I would know when I had found my soul mate.
She took me into her lap and said,
"My sweet girl, you will just know.
You will get butterflies in your tummy when you look at them.
And you will want to be around them
because they make everything more fun.
They will make you laugh and laugh,
and they will take care of you
like we do now…
so that when we aren't here anymore,
you will still be happy."
I thought about this for a minute,
Nuzzled my head in the crook of her neck,
And stared at the open doorway, deep in thought.
I was still hard for me to understand…
A concept I did not think my young mind
Could wrap around.
Then my father walked in.
Up against my ear,
I could hear Mommy's heart beat
a few thumps faster.
On my forehead, I felt her cheek grow warm…
and flush rosy pink.
He paused just inside the door, and smiled at
the two of us.
"The two most beautiful girls in the world,
sitting in my house…" he said.
"How did I ever get so lucky?"
I heard the quiet crinkle sound of Mom's lips
as they pulled up into a grin,
And when I looked up at Dad, his blue eyes
were dancing.
Leaning over, he kissed Mom on the lips,
then me on the forehead,
and then he sat down and lifted the both of us into his lap.
"Daddy," I giggled. "Aren't we too heavy for you?"
He squeezed us in a brief embrace and said,
"Never."
When I grew up, I fell in love with you.
And it was the first time I knew what Mom
had been talking about all those years,
explaining to me what love was
in words that could never suffice.
As cliché as years of experience has made it sound,
I did get butterflies.
And one day, I was holding my little cousin on my lap.
You had been helping my dad with something,
and were finally finished.
As you walked toward me,
I couldn't even help but smile,
and my cousin's head shot up,
"Your heart's beating really fast," she said, and she giggled.
I just poked her on the nose and sent her off to play.
So you sat down,
and took me on your lap.
"Aren't I too heavy for you?" I chuckled.
"Never," you said.
Someday, I will be an old woman.
I will look back at this particular decade of my life
with greater fondness than any other decade.
I will let my eyes unfocus, and my mind wander over these memories
more than any others I possess.
My wrinkled, fragile fingers,
will caress these photos until the edges are dog-eared.
I will re-read the letters
until the ink is smeared with tears
and the paper has fallen to pieces.
And although you may hate me for saying so,
I have a very special wish…one wish…
for that day in the future when this happens.
And the wish is
that another pair of sturdier wrinkled hands
will reach out
to give a second look to,
and then gently slide each photo into its spot
in the albums…
The hands will use a tissue to blot at the tears
before they smear the ink,
and then will cup together
to catch the delicate petals of paper as
they crumble.
And when the hands reach out again,
they will take my frail, aging body into a lap
on which I have sat many times,
and run gently through the locks of my
white hair.
I will say, "Darling, surely I am too heavy for you now."
And I wish with all my heart,
that you would be there
always,
to say,
"Never."
